


The P Word

by CamCumberbatch



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, Crack Fic, M/M, Other, Pineapple fucking, Sherlock fucks a plantain, and a pineapple, plantain fucking, that's basically it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-09
Packaged: 2018-02-24 18:21:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2591546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CamCumberbatch/pseuds/CamCumberbatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock fucks a pineapple with a plantain up his ass. John helps and gets sucked off. </p><p> </p><p>Inspired by the fact this fandom is fucking nuts and we already have cake fucking and pumpkin fucking fics so why not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The P Word

John wasn't supposed to be home for a while. In fact, by his calculations, John wasn't supposed to be home for another two hours at least - assuming he came home instead of staying with his date.  
Which is why Sherlock was frozen with surprise when John walked in to see a pineapple with it's center carved out, a large plantain, and an industrial sized pump of lube on the kitchen table, next to a naked consulting detective.  
John gaped for a second, and started backing out of the room.  
"I-It's an experiment." Sherlock stuttered out. "You can help if you like."  
John paused in backing away and assesed the situation.  
"Right. And how do I do that, exactly?"  
"Lubricate the plantain."   
John nodded and cautiously walked forwards, pumping a healthy amount of lube in his hand before coating the fruit.  
"Now what?" He asked with caution.  
Sherlock turned and bent over a chair, exposing the plug in his arse.  
"Well, doctor, please remove this anal plug and insert the plantain."  
John almost protested before he realized it was no use. He stepped forward before gently prying the plug from Sherlock's arse and carefully inserting the long, thick fruit.   
"Rotate it a little to the left - ah! Right there!" Sherlock ordered as he moved the plantain into position.  
Sherlock slowly stood up, making little "oh" sounds, his cock hard and flushed.   
Once he was standing straight, he barely contained a shudder as the plantain pushed into his prostate.   
He waved towards the pineapple and lube.   
"I need-I need," he whimpered, trailing off.  
John seemed to understand and pumped some lube into the pineapple and into his hand before reaching down to slick up Sherlock's large cock. Sherlock moaned and rocked into the touch, the plantain shifting in his arse.   
"J-John, the pineapple." Sherlock remained.  
John's hand left Sherlock's cock and he slid the pineapple over it.  
Sherlock whimpered at the sensation.  
"John, I need you to thrust the plantain." Sherlock commanded breathlessly.   
Sherlock was violently shoving the pineapple up and down his cock as John thrusted the plantain, hitting Sherlock's prostate. Sherlock was close.  
"So good, so good, John. But I was it was your cock. I wish it was you pounding into me."  
"Come for me, you lustfulcockmonster." John growled in Sherlock's ear, and Sherlock came with a shout.  
As Sherlock came down from his high, he leaned back and kissed John before palming the erection pressed into his jeans.   
Sherlock sunk to his knees, undoing John's fly quickly and pulling his dick out and swallowing it in one go.  
"Sherlock!" John moaned at the sensation.  
A few moments was all it took and John was coming down Sherlock's throat.  
Sherlock sucked him dry before guiding them both to his room for the night.   
They both had a nice, long talk the next morning - after John pulled the still there plantain from Sherlock's arsehole and fucked him beyond words.


End file.
